


No more unauthorized sequels

by princess_fluffle



Category: Alien (1979), Michael Fassbender - Fandom, Prometheus - Fandom, X-Men, Young Avengers, alien covenant
Genre: F/M, M/M, Spoilers for Alien Covenant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 03:58:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10959171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_fluffle/pseuds/princess_fluffle
Summary: Inspired by seeing Alien Covenant this is another x-men crossover crack fic about what happens when Mutants are really big movie fans.DO NOT READ BEFORE SEEING THE FILMI can't stress this enough





	No more unauthorized sequels

The darkness of the ship made everything outside impossible to be seen to both Shaw and the android. Though David 8 could sense something was different, he found no reason to believe it was nothing more than his programming adjusting to the alien technology. 

The feeling of being watched was that of paranoia and he refused to allow something as pristine as himself to act so disgustingly human. It was beneath him. He focused his attention elsewhere. 

"Life is old there, Older than the trees. Younger than the mountains;  
Blowin' like the breeze," sang a tear filled voice . "Country roads, take me home  
To the place I belong  
West Virginia..." 

"Doctor Shaw, Are you alright?" he walked toward her curled up form. "You seem to be crying." 

"Oh, no," Elizabeth sat up straight and wiped her cheek. "I was just singing my favorite song and I told you yesterday to call me Elizabeth." 

"Oh dear, well Elizabeth, if you weren't crying we have a problem." The android removed her hand and wiped her remaining tears. "You've sprung a leak." 

He paused and when she failed to responded he added, "that was a joke." 

This time she laughed. 

"Ah there we go. Now please keep singing. It was quite beautiful but I couldn't make out what it was." 

"Oh it's..." 

"No. I'd rather hear your lovely voice." 

"Well alright. Let me start from the beginning." She cleared her voice. 

"Almost heaven, West Virginia  
Blue Ridge Mountains  
Shenandoah River,  
Life is old there  
Older than the trees  
Younger than the mountains  
Blowin' like the breeze" 

"Ah yes," David interrupted. "Take Me Home, Country Roads, cowritten and performed by John Denver. Originally released as a single in 1971 and still an aural delight." 

"You know it?" 

"I do indeed," he sighed. 

"Join me then." 

"Well alright." 

"Country roads, take me home  
To the place I belong," the pair began to duet. "West Virginia, mountain momma  
Take me home, country roads..."

"William," The voice of Erik Lehnsherr rang out over them. "Your mother has been calling to you. What are you and Teddy doing in here?" 

"Are you too making out," Charles Xavier's voice replied. 

"Ugh no," Teddy Altman, Billy's boyfriend and Xavier Academy's worst liar. "We were just watching Alien." 

"Oh which?" Charles' voice loudened as the door opened. 

"Prometheus," Billy said as Teddy spat out, "Covenant." 

"Oh those are good," they could hear Erik's foot steps. 

"Emm and they have that hunky Michael Fassbender." Charles was right behind him as the teenagers froze in fear. 

"He's not even that... what the hell? William Kaplan why the hell are Noomi Rapport and Michael Fassbender in the living room?" 

Erik got in his grandson's face. 

"Didn't your mother ever tell you how bopping up actors is a strict rule violation?!" 

"Yes, Papa but..." 

"Oh my God," Charles interrupted him. "She almost had sex with Judd Nelson." 

"And Emilio Estevez!" Erik said pointedly. 

"I had to wipe nearly all of the Brat Pack." Charles rubbed his temples. "I'm sorry Billy you I can't allow you to warp reality to bring actors to our home, no matter how handsome they may be." 

Charles winked at David 8 who, along with Shaw, was standing in a shadow where the ship faded and the carpet reappeared looking quite bemused.

"That's the thing," Teddy stood up timidly. "Billy didn't bring the actors." 

"Well who did then?" Charles pet Erik's hand to keep him from being frazzled. 

"Well I brought them," Billy stood next. "We had watched both movies and were saying that we wished we could see what happens on the middle." 

"I see," Erik nodded. "Well you can't bring actors into our home, regardless of your intentions, especially ones my husband has an irrational crush on." 

"Not the actors," Billy protested. "The characters." 

"You did what?" Charles grabbed Billy's hand. 

"Yeah. We thought it would be fun. Aren't you proud of me." 

"Oh well it is very impressive isn't it Erik?" 

"The child is a magician?" David ventured several steps toward the family. "This all sounds very impressive indeed, elderly wheelchair bound gentleman." 

"Shut up David 8," Erik snapped his neck and yelled. "And don't you think of touching anything or anyone. In fact, back to your ship." 

The screaming drew the attention of Peter Maximoff and Wade Wilson who entered the room. 

"Ooh! Look Pete, a sex-robot!" 

"I'm an android..." David started toward Wade. 

"Don't even think about it," Erik pointing his finger toward the spaceship. "Go!"

"Good advise," Peter sped out of the room.

"Now, yes," he returned his gaze toward the younger mutants and softened his words. "I am very proud but William, impressive has nothing to do with it. He's a psychopathic murderer." 

"Well clearly he had something against AIs," David mumbled. 

"Excuse me," Shaw interrupt. "David is a very kind individual and you shouldn't judge him harshly just because he happens to be different." 

"Fair point," Wade chided. "Maybe if people were nicer to him he wouldn't have killed all those people." 

"David didn't kill anyone," Shaw smiled. "When the Prometheus was attacked by horrifying monsters he saved my life. He's full of love and kindness. Just last night we made love." 

"That's disgusting," Charles swallowed hard. 

"Fuck," Wade cringed. 

"Her face was... oh God. Did he try and start a family..." Billy gagged. 

"Enough," Erik's voice boomed. "I don't want anymore fictional people talking to me. Warp it back!"

Lacking a cape, he settled for whipping his sweater as he exited with Charles. 

"Technically kid," Wade put a hand on David 8's waistband. "He's not not person." 

"The android too," Charles's voice said in both Billy and Wade's heads. "No more unauthorized sequels or I'll call Ridley Scott." 

"I'll call Ridley Scott," Wade mocked as the android disappeared from his grasp. "You don't have his number," he called out.

"He'll use Cerebral!" Erik yelled back. "Maybe send Wilson with them while you're at it. A few Xenomorphs would do him some good."


End file.
